Love wanes to patriarchal harry

This is a write-up on a true tragic death that took place recently in the City of Joy- Kolkata . This could be a serious bolt on India ’s secular credentials.

On September 21, a 30-year old, Muslim youth, Rizwanur Rahman, graphic designer by profession was found dead on railway track.

The police without waiting for investigation and postmortem swiftly said the death is a case of suicide. This raises many questions about the motive behind the swift comment of the police as the circumstances of Rizwan’s death raise a lot of questions at various levels.

“This is a case of cold-blooded murder but the police are trying to show it as suicide. That is preposterous,” said Rizwan’s brother Rukbanur Rahman.

The local media, particularly Bengali TV channels, have given huge coverage to the death. BBC on line writes, leading local personalities have appeared on the screen to lambaste the Calcutta police and West Bengal government for “interfering in the married life of two adults”.

The back ground of the incident is very tragic. Rizwan, a resident of Tiljala, Park Circus, Kolkata, coming from not so well-to-family, married his love Priyanka Todi, a Marwari Hindu on August 18,daughter of the owner of Lux undergarment enterprise, an empire worth over two hundred crores.

By all accounts, it was a happy marriage, and Priyanka was content with a middle class home, despite the fact that her father, Ashok Todi, is supposed to be worth Rs.200 cores, writes MJ Akbar, Chief Editor, Asian Age, in The Daily Star.

After their marriage the police intervened, summoned Rizwan, and commented that it is a marriage of unequal and that it is natural for Priyanka's father to be upset.

It is alleged Rizwan, was intimidated repeatedly by the police.Rizwan approached Association for Protection of Democratic Rights (APDR) and was to meet them in the evening. But that meeting did not take place as he was found dead on the railway tracks.

Just prior to this, police told the couple that Priyanka should go back to her father’s house, she should go back for a week, after which police will ensure that she will come back. The couple refused.

When all these intimidatory tactics of police failed they threatened that either Priyanaka goes to her father’s house or they will arrest Rizwan on the charges of abduction and theft. Fearing Rizwan’s arrest prompted Priynaka to go to her fathers’ house after which she became unreachable.

Veteran leader of Communist Party of India-Marxist (CPI-M) and former chief minister Jyoti Base said, after Calcutta High Court heard the case, the government would take suitable action against the Kolkata Police Commissioner Prasun Mukherjee over his remarks defending the right of Todi to call back his daughter married to a man from a different religion against his wishes.

Incidentally, the legal position on such cases of choosing one's life partner against parent’s wishes was elaborated in one of the Indian Supreme Court judgment.


On July 7, 2006, the Supreme Court ruled emphatically that there can be no bar on inter-caste or inter-religious marriages. Those who harass threaten or subject such a couple have to be prosecuted. In the case pertaining to Lata Singh Supreme Court observed, "This is a free and democratic country, and once a person becomes a major, he or she can marry whomsoever he/she likes".

Ashok Todi, despite his disagreement has no right or authority on the decision of Priyanka, who is an adult. At best, he could do is to cut off social relations with the couple.

Unfortunately, the Indian society continues to be gripped by the gender hierarchical notion that a girl cannot make her own choice in the matters of marriage. The patriarchal father is the one who calculates the caste, religion, and social hierarchy before 'giving' his daughter. And this position of women is best exemplified in Kanyadaan (gift of daughter) in Hindu marriage ritual.


In many parts of India , especially north India the caste panchayats have been deciding the fate of such couples, they are forced to separate the girl being asked to tie rakhi on her husbands wrist. The boy or couple being killed at times and in the worst of the cases the girl being raped on the dictates of the panchayat have also been reported.

This trend cuts across different religious communities and has most to do with the prevalence of gender hierarchy. Other hierarchical notions, that of economic class, caste angles also get thrown in.

With the rise in religion based politics and the retrograde social values, rise in such cases abound. No wonder that worst such case is seen in Gujarat , the Hindu rashtra, being ruled by RSS combine from last decade or so. Here there is one Babu Bajrangi, whose major 'religious task' is to beat up the couples sitting in parks.

Further the couples, who have married despite their caste differences, are bashed up by this ardent associate of RSS combine. He does wield lot of patronage from the powers that be, and has tired to break many a marriages. In same Gujarat many an attacks on Muslim minority were engineered, on the ground that Muslim boys are marrying Hindu girls.

The prevalence of these feudal hierarchical notions and values are far and wide. Here the woman is regarded as the embodiment of family and community honor. She is not only regarded as the property of men, her life is controlled by the men in different degrees.

Women being the carrier of community honor are also painfully seen during the communal violence, when the women from the 'other community' are subjected to ignominies and violation of the worst type.

Fascism, Hitler, also assigned a particular role to women, that of a life revolving around Kitchen Church and Children. The Muslim fundamentalists, Taliban, Maulana Maududi and the Hindutva streams also give the secondary subordinate position to women.

In Rizwans case, while the human tragedy is of whopping scale, the intolerance of high and mighty is very intimidating. The wealthy Hindu trader/industrialist, presumably upper caste, exercises his worst possible trait, in the pursuit of patriarchal controls over his daughter. Rizwan coming from the background of average to low economic status and coming from the 'other religion' has been his nemesis.

If Ashok Todi is innocent, why hasn’t he come out in open even once on this case? Why Priyanka being kept hidden?

India is known as a champion of secular nation who protects the rights of individual. So, why is it that when it comes to marriage, all hell breaks loose if one dares to fall in love with a person from a different faith?

Rizwan is dead and his wife, Priyanka is left to lament and his family to grief.
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Billy I Ahmed is Columnist and Researcher